How to Talk to a Woman via Texting?
Textual Chemistry: Building Connection and Attraction Through Messaging
Last updated on February 9, 2025
As most of you are probably already aware, most online chat rooms and dating apps use a text model to enable their users to communicate. In basic terms, they provide a service whereby their members can write messages, send them, and have them read in real-time. The other person would then reply. Basically, you engage in a conversation through live written messages. If you enter into the world of online dating or decide to try and meet other people through online chat rooms you may need some advice on how to talk to other people, notably how to talk with women online via written messages.
If you are reading this then you are probably looking to meet women via our services to talk with, get to know, and possibly make a meaningful connection with. You may be wondering how to talk to women appropriately via messages because the written word can sometimes cause problems. Issues occur for the following reasons:
- The true meaning of what you mean may not come across in your message. This is because it is very difficult to tell if someone is serious or joking just from what they say. People misread things as there is no intonation or body language to help!
- Those long pauses…when having a face-to-face conversation a pause can be awkward but often understandable and you can see them thinking of a response. This is completely different when writing messages to a person. They know you have received their message and are sitting staring at the screen waiting for your response. This wait time can feel like an eternity, especially if you have asked a personal question, made a personal comment, or have expressed feelings! Make sure to try and reply in a timely manner so that the other person doesn’t worry or feel you have lost interest.
- Radio silence is another issue in the online messaging world. This is when someone sends a message and waits for a response, normally when the other person is offline. Then, the reply never comes or takes an overly long time to come. This could be for a valid reason but it will cause concern!
Whether you’ve already started a new online chat with women, just thinking of diving into chatting with girls, these articles will definitely give you some fresh perspectives and tips:
- How to Chat with a Girl When You're Shy;
- How to Talk to a Girl You Like and Make an Impression;
- Where Can I Chat with Real Women?
- How to Find Girls for Chatting?
- Are There Any Good Free Chat Rooms?
- How to Talk to a Woman via Texting?
- Talking to a Woman for the First Time Via Text;
- How to Tell if a Woman Likes You: Reading Her Signs;
- How to Talk with a Woman to Impress Her?
- How Can I Talk to Girls?
Enough of the negatives and potential problems, let's look at the best way to talk to a woman via the written messaging service.
- Polite and Respectful. The first, and probably one of the most important pieces of advice we can give you, is to be polite and respectful at all times. As we have previously mentioned it is almost impossible to fully understand someone’s tone via a written message. You may make what you deem a whimsical or jokey remark while the other person reads it as rude or derogatory. You must make sure you re-read every message before sending it to ensure it reads okay!
- Make sure to ask open-ended questions that can easily be returned such as ‘What made you smile today?’. You do not want to appear to be asking questions that are too personal such as ‘Why did your last relationship fail?’ or ‘How much money do you earn every year?’. Women will not appreciate the feeling of being interviewed. You need to make sure your conversation flows while both of you are comfortable.
- Avoid talking about yourself too much. When talking to a woman via chat you do not want her to sit reading through numerous messages from you, all about you! Your online lady friend will get very bored if she just has to read about you and has no chance to talk about herself. In relation to this, you must make sure you always listen carefully. Demonstrate that you have really heard what she has to say by asking relevant questions and making relevant comments! She will feel listened to and respected if she can see that you are responding to what she has said and not just glossing over it!
- Choose your topics carefully. If she has a profile then use this to make sure your written messages keep her attention and interest. You do not want to bring up topics that she is not interested in or she will disconnect. She will also appreciate you discussing topics that she is interested in based on what you read in her profile. She will feel you are genuinely interested in her and how she feels. It may also be wise to avoid potentially touchy subjects such as religion, politics, or the past (relationships). You may want to wait to discuss these until you know each other better!
- Do NOT send rude messages or those of a sexual nature. You may think you're being cheeky but in a written message this will just come across as only wanting one thing! This includes sending rude/ naked pictures in the photo messaging section. This links back to being respectful at all times.
If you're curious about what really makes relationships flourish, you’ve got to check out our series of articles titled "The Science and Studies Behind Happy Relationships." It’s packed with insights from research and studies that break down the secrets to building and maintaining a thriving partnership:
- How Do I Know if Someone is the Right Person for Me?
- How Can I Improve Communication with My Partner?
- What are the Signs that a Relationship is Failing?
- How Do I Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship?
- How Can I Build Trust in a Relationship?
- What are Some Healthy Ways to Handle Conflict in a Relationship?
- How Do I Know if My Partner Truly Loves Me?
- How Can I Reignite the Spark in My Relationship?
- What Should I Do if My Partner Cheats on Me?
- How Can I Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship?
Ultimately, your online female friend will be extremely nervous talking to someone she has never met or seen via written messages. You need to make sure that she feels safe and comfortable at all times. Don’t be too needy but ask if she is okay, ask if she is happy to discuss certain topics, and respect her wishes. At the end of the day, the best way to talk to a woman via text is to be respectful, listen, and pay attention!
Examples of messages that include an introduction, a reference to where you met, and a conversation starter for talking to a woman for the first time
Dating app introduction:
- "Hi [Her Name], I’m [Your Name], nice to meet you! We matched on [app name] earlier, and I’m curious—what’s something fun you’ve been up to lately?"
Social media introduction:
- "Hey [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. I came across your profile on [social media platform], and I really liked what you shared about [her interest]. How did you get into that?"
Friend referral introduction:
- "Hi [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. [Friend’s name] mentioned you and thought we’d get along, so I thought I’d say hello! How’s everything going?"
Event or group introduction:
- "Hi [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. We met through the [group name] event the other day—it was great to see someone else into [interest/hobby]. How did you get started with it?"
An online forum or community introduction:
- "Hey [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. I saw your post in the [forum/community name], and I really liked what you said about [topic]. How long have you been into [interest]?"
Class or workshop introduction:
- "Hi [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. We attended the same [class/workshop] recently—I thought it was really interesting! How did you find it?"
Through mutual friends:
- "Hi [Her Name], I’m [Your Name]. [Mutual friend’s name] introduced us at [event], and I wanted to reach out. What have you been up to since then?"
These examples include where you met, which helps create context for the conversation and makes it easier to get started with a natural flow.
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